I was hung up on wild philosophy, and specifically Zen, for 20 years. I studied under a Zen master, and practiced koan meditation extremely hard. 24 hours a day. No joke, I literally dreamed about the koan. I actually asked the koan in my dreams. I went to the temple as often as possible. I did grueling retreats. I did the lay ordination, got the incense burn, and got my lay disciple name. I did what the Zen master told me, I believed the dogma, I believed the metaphysics, etc.
I drifted along, unconsciously cherry picking life. Things that I had to deal with, and that I liked, I did. Things that were more convenient to label as "just mind" I labeled as such. I, of course, understood that everything is just mind, but there comes a point where you have to decide to pay a bill, fill up your car with gas, go to work, etc. right? Though, I didn't understand that I was cherry picking at all, at the time! I thought that all was mind period, end of discussion. I didn't realize until later that this was what I was doing, but it is inevitable in this philosophy.
One day, I had an existential crisis. It hit me, that if things are truly all mind, then I must be completely and totally insane. I struggled with this for a year or so. Eventually, this pushed me to a point where I inevitably dropped all philosophy, religion, etc. and just lived. I regained my freedom. I was no longer a slave to Zen, nor anything else. No more temple, instead I spent more time building a successful, and happy life. And I realized, I'd always been free. The very idea that I needed to go to some Zen master at a temple twice a week for years was ridiculous, asinine even.
Later, I realized that there are a huge number of paradoxes, and logical contradictions, and flat out fallacies in Zen, and in the vast majority of philosophies in general.
Up until this point, I was susceptible to dogma, mysticism, etc. But since that day, since absolutely breaking my psyche over the anvil of Zen, and then rebuilding it, I am completely, and totally exempt from falling under dogmas, etc.
You're thinking "Oh, this a$$hole doesn't understand the mystical awesome Zen the rest of us get! What a douchebag."
But what you're missing, and what you can't even fathom, is the fact that you have no idea whatsoever what it is like to actually take seriously, and literally, for a year or more, and at all times, that all is mind, which is one of the most common elements in Zen. Anyone who doesn't think that this is Zen is cherry picking, or lying to themselves. It is said constantly in Zen texts: "All is mind" and other formulations that mean the same thing. "Big mind," etc. The same logic applies to other Zen ideas like the idea that nothing exists, all is unreal, etc.
If you actually took this position completely literally for a year or so, you'd be forced to see how this kind of thinking is the definition of madness, and end up totally free of Zen, and all dogma, too.
You'd end up free of Zen, free of everything.
If you aren't totally free of Zen, you have not had this experience. No matter how stupid you think I am, no matter how much you think I'm wrong, and how much you think you have had this experience, or this whole idea I have is totally wrong, ask yourself: If he's wrong, then why do I still need, and/or am so drawn to Zen?
Zen set me free, and made me my own master. If Zen, or Buddhism, or anything else is still your master, why do you think that is?
Zen puts us into a philosophy that is completely broken so that we may break free of ourselves. Those who mistake Zen philosophy as ultimate truth think a pair of leather strips are sandals, when they are mere foundations, meant to be made into fine boots. Those who think Zen is something to adhere to, to learn, to teach, to promote for their whole lives mistake a servants shed for the manor.
If you think this is an anti Zen diatribe, you have completely misunderstood every word I've written.
Good luck.
Submitted July 31, 2022 at 09:21AM by Culebraveneno https://ift.tt/qZNR3TW
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