What the hell is zen?

Mu! Kidding. I joined a zen discussion once and the teacher talked at length about China and various masters. I found it humorous none were women and how zen, to the best of my knowing, still had few female participants. I learned about the corruption in feudal temples, how Ikkyu ripped up his certificate and whored his way through Japan. From what I understand the temples are still on a good-ol-boy nerwork and positions are hereditary.

Then there's Eido Shinamon who was defamed for doing basically what Ikkyu did: he liked the ladies. In Shinamons's last public speech (according to the post on YouTube) he said to learn "Snow falls endless amidst life and death" and "there is no Samsara to avoid, no nirvana to obtain." Even our delusions, he said, were enlightenment. 10 minutes a day he said would be very beneficial. It was probably the best talk I've heard on zen. It was direct and honest.

No one seems to agree on what zen is. I "get" the catch 22. It's not something one could put into words, like describing the Tao. The moment you do it's lost, kind of like what I read in the intro to the Gateless Gate.

I've heard of a master's technique being, just sit, no more, to Thich Nhat Hanh's visualizations, and techniques on self nurturing. Take Bon Seong in Cali. He's a psychoanalyst and his teachings sound like what you'd hear in a therapy session (good talks imo) The divergence from master to master (over time and place) is so stark it seems to me zen is nothing more than whatever someone wants it to be😂. The idea of some one being a "master" of zen sounds like bullshit. Perhaps zen is just sitting and listening to someone whos pointing to the moon. Yet now the finger, the observer and the moon are all the same thing...Zen is shitting yourself and throwing a tantrum 😂😂😂 I'm saying this in partial jest. I really don't what the hell zen is or know why I've been sitting for a year meditating without a sangha.

This reddit group also confounds me. It looks like people are just quoting books or "testing" each other with obscure zen stories. It looks like a big circle jerk but what the hell do I know?

Lastly I've heard stories or seen people hint that becoming like an infant is a real thing; only to discover from a friendly monk in Indiana there's no such thing. Sure there's satori but that fades. You still feel anger, lust and pride no matter how long you meditate. To have emotions is to be human. There's no blissed out 24/7 experience.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I could practice mindfulness enough to be here all day. Thich Nhat Hanh looks on 24/7 but I don't know. I doubt it. Thanks for reading. I don't know anything.

Submitted October 12, 2019 at 10:36PM by LoveDrivesOutHate https://ift.tt/31bqB0F