Howdy landlubbers. You…you didn’t think I was going to use some metaphor where r/zen readers were seaman or shipmates of some sort, did you? Oh—I’m sorry. This is not that kind of pirate story.
This is a pirate story about Yangshan—and while the rest of you might as well be out to sea…you look to be standing in the sands of the Ganges up to your damn ankles, far as this here dinged up ole Alaska brass telescope shows me.
Anyway, in my last post I included a passage from Thomas Cleary’s introduction to the Book of Serenity (my new daily read for the first time in several years). The quote mentioned how Yangshan was adept at using visual language, in Cleary’s (in my opinion accurate) opinion, to a much higher degree than your average Ch’an master. He even notes some associated him with occult knowledge, but Cleary points out it was rumored he was in connection with “adepts to the west” who were likely to have communicated as a visual/oral culture still (as many original peoples always have and still do). If there were Channists like that out the Silk Road somewhere…it is possible he really could have struck up a line of communication over Buddhist trade networks.
Anyway, just my view on that aspect of Yangshan.
That is an essential aspect of the case below, but first: to my comments in “How to Choose a Warlord.”
This is relevant to not only my study of Ch’an here in r/zen, but is formulated to be relevant to anyone’s study of Ch’an, regardless of who you are or where you live—as it pertains highly to “where are you from? and what do they teach there?” (This whole OP, in fact, pivots in this one point.)
In an earlier post in my plucky “How to survive a military dictatorship” handbook for non-enterprising students of Ch’an, I shared some historical info about how the central authority collapsed from corruption several times in the 8th and 9th centuries in China, and regional warlords came to power. (This was of course how it offen was in the previous centuries and Bodhidharma’s time, as well.) As a result of this, Ch’an masters and comnunities would often see a very balkanized China before them, where some regions were conducive to Ch’an study, and some less so.
So this provided the framework for my new funny joke about “where are you from, and what do they teach there”: how to find the “right warlord.”
I just have two examples.
As we Americans can see, things are Balkanizing very quickly in our country. What state you are in is more relavant to who you are than at any time in recent history. I mean that in the conversational sense—as people from different states communicate. Totally gone is the previous nation-wide culture: clearly that has all been destroyed by deluded politics like rabies destroys a rabid dog. This is my experience talking with people in Alaska, as well as here jn r/zen.
Tell me if you are from Texas or Massaschusetts, Oregon or Nebraska—and let’s have a go. It is a very reliable way to get to “where are you from and what do they teach there” when we can’t find “ideas to agree on” (this is highly relevant for me, because naturally, as an Alaskan—I already know you are all full of shit. So I don’t have any “agreed upon ideas” to offer. I just have a staff.)
Which is why I “chose Alaska” as a safe regional warlord a very long time ago…but several years into the post Bush v Gore regime already (ie I conscioisly knew I was seeking the protection and resources of a “regional warlord” and why). I chose it for everything at once: the whales, the mountains, the rivers, the bears—and also for its own radical liberation.
You see—Alaska Natives are still here in full force. The entire civilization is here. They are much more like a visual/oral civilization of the type I referred to above, than they are like the imported civilization of the lower 48 they have been yoked with due to economic corruption.
This means that I have the freedom to be openly Au Ti S Ti C and study Ch’an in Alaska. [Linseed: The periodic notation is to avoid the automoderator accidently banning me for talking about myself—not some sort of occult or alchemical thing. Just FYI.] We are also a red state—and one that truly does protect both halves of the First Amendment. Obviously, these are essential facts for my Ch’an study. My warlord is the great bear. The warlord currently running our state government is Exxon, weak and feeble now from it’s own corruption—but also very violent becuse of this.
That was me telling American students of Chan exactly what they teach where I am from—and told in a manner that we would tell it here.
Trust me—that is important to share. But I literally demonstrated it–the answer to that question “where are you from and what do they teach there—and will further tie it to a Ch’an text monentarily.1
But the other warlord I choose…was of course r/zen. Which is why I want to offer the r/zen warlord my continued appreciation for its existence and content, and the opportunity for Ch’an study it has provided and continues to provide…in a digital realm where there was not a single other such place where I could have actually studied Ch’an literature in public as an Alaskan and Au Ti S Ti C person.
The widespread lower 48 mainstream culture would have inmediately stomped my content into silence and banned me anywhere I spoke up.
Just because I’m an Alaskan.
So I hope, in this multi-cultural, global community…it is easily comprehensible why I, as an Alaskan student of Ch’an, went on a satirical rampage against the “middle brow scholarship of the lower 48 military dictatorship”. Obviously that do be the best content Alaska Ch’an students can bring ya, far as literary diagnostics, today—and I wouldn’t offer anything less than the best Ch’an study I can offer, as straight up thanks for r/zen’s continuing existence and content of all types. I think you as a community, and group of real true friends, and innovators…have done it exceedingly right for students of Ch’an all over to benefit. (Speaking to the ones who have built and maintained this place together.)
I just didn’t want anyone to think I don’t respect middle brow scholars—and particularly their Chan study—you see. As a retired literary pirate, I can freely confess that I’m deeply impressed with their bravery—I cannot imagine how much it sucks to stand there idly fencing with one hand, while an entire empire’s worth of middle brow scholars runs in to throw themselves on your rapier. It looks…a little hard on the wrist from my point of view. The only time a pirate has to use his wrist, is generally when he wants to wave it at someone else 500 yards away, point at something, or maybe chop off the odd finger just for show, I suppose. And it’s hardly like writing entertaining missives to fancies ladies at court is much of a wrist health threat, either—is it? Of course not. Grading book reports is obviously more demanding in every way.
In fact, my dementia finds it so exhausting I’m often forced to pick up my snakes and reach for my mason jar of scholar kryptonite. (Never far.)
But then some just know to not unscrew the lid—so the snake never pops out. Which is a great way to respond to that. “I knew it!” I think.
But as an Alaskan student of Ch’an, that was definitely the best study I could offer at the moment, particularly in these times and seasons of delusion—which I refer to directly in this series of post titles.
Anyway, it is far more efficient to forgoe scholarship efforts for me these days. I’m working on changing that with my own Ch’an study…but if some users aren’t open to literary commentary, verse, videos, anecdotes, memes…then they are not capable of conversation with me. No loss for anyone that I can see, frankly. It does save me time to not have to generate comments in those posts. If I have something to say, it will show up in a meme or joke somewhere—cause I’m always doing that anyway.
Now, let’s to Yangshan—and see what these staff things are all about!
Zen Master Yunmen #159
Master Yunmen related the following story:
Yangshan asked a monk, "Where have you last been?" The monk replied, "In the south." Yangshan took up his staff and said, "Did they talk there about this?" The monk answered, "They didn't." "If they didn't talk about this, did they talk about that?" The monk said, "They didn't." Yangshan directed the monk to go and take his place in the hall, and the monk did as told. Yangshan called him once more. The monk answered, "Yes?" Yangshan said, "Come closer." The monk went closer. Yangshan then struck him.
Master Yunmen said, "If Yangshan hadn't said those last words, how could he have discerned that man?"
—zenmarrow.com2
Look this one is real east in staff language.
This exact scene, even the “down south” part, could play out if one of you lower 48ers came up, and walked over to my gardening teacher’s with me for our afternoon chat. Today he was splitting wood with a small electric splitter. I stayed and watched for 30 minutes, and all we did was discuss the science of splitting wood, and its many and varieagated features. I am going to have to get an electric splitter this year, even at my age, because I tore a ligament in my arm in 2021. It was an efficient conversation, because it allowed me to plan my entire winter, as well as observe how the splitter was used with different wood features like knots and splits—which I am already intrinsically familiar with themselves from decades of hatchet, maul, and axe usage.
In any case, if one of you came over with me one day, he might decide to have a smoke and a nice long convo to fuck with the lower 48er. He might look over at the staff I always carry, and say: “You have anyone with one of those where you live?” If you said “No,” he might say: “Then they don’t know as much as that guy does.” That is exactly how he talks. I’m not saying he is a zen master at all—I’m saying that’s how he talks. Then he might say: “And do you know what else they don’t tell ya down south….” and beckon you closer. And if you leaned in, he would very probably yell: “That you’re all fucking stupid—hahaha!” And even you would laugh, though startled.
But anyone from here who had any sense would’ve said something like: “No thanks, gramps—I don’t want to hear your dirty little secret.” And my gardening teacher would be like: “Haha” and be impressed.
I’m just showing that the case is like real life.
People have been discussing the benefits of literary study lately—and of course as a literati I approve of literary study for all literati or readers who are interested.
But to both u/jungle_told and u/insanezenmistress who brought it up, I said: “But the real language of the cases is in the objects and habits and actions we see in the cases. The things they do and show us—in a language of staffs and common objects utilized in the Ch’an literary media of written cases.
The literary study is as much a part of the actual content of the BCR and BoS as any other feature—but that the actual cases themselves are constructed out of real life should never be lost sight of. These are historical records. Yangshan was a funny old guy treating people exactly how you see in the case—as an enlightened Zen master giving a visiting monk the one wallop he wouldn’t forget. Maybe walking away the monk would think: “Well hey, actually—that was the most efficient thing that could have happened, really…” and then maybe stumble a little seeing the implication of that.
And see, if you came to visit me—I wouldn’t be hitting you with my staff. I’d show it to you and describe how I got it, and show you how cool it was…like a kid with a new toy, because I’ve only had it just a little over two years. Why hit anyone with it when I can still talk mad shit in my 40s.
When it has 20-30 years of use on it…that could change I suppose. But somehow I have this image of a much thinner sort of short bamboo cane in my head for some reason, which I could use for viciously slapping brush and horseflies.
Somehow I think you will know to stay away from that one if it does take that long for you to get here.
But I am definitely gonna try and get there myself. Screw these corrupt jerks trying to cut my Ch’an study short. If I can already see the cane—I can already wield it! ::bends military dictstorship over his knee::
—
[Golden Eyebrow’s Literary Agent: This has been a production of the retired pirate of history Golden Eyebrow. Of course this is how retired historical pirates study Ch’an at their evening tea. Secret Sauce: Guanyin = Pirate.]
Oh, one more thing. My real literary advice for Ch’an students who garden or live anywhere. If it hasn’t already occurred to you by then, really do get a staff when you are 40. Even if it is just in a backyard garden or an urban living situation. Staff is a language students of Ch’an speak in. Try it—it’s fun.
No—go ahead, city boys. Tell me that “staffs are obsolete these days”. I’d like to see you survive one night in the woods out here and ask ya how you feel the next day. Whereas it would take a fleet of tigers to kill me in these woods—and even if it happened…it isn’t like I’d get wrattled or nothing. Tiger cases are rarely ambiguous, I find.
—Golden Eyebrow
Year of the Tiger
P.S. When I told my gardenjnf teacher my improv character was a pirate, he spits out like a strand of manilla: “Blackbeard’s wife is buried in my family cemetary!” True story. Old pirate cove in Wales. Lol. What an asshole trick to play on me—not telling me that til right then.
1 Let’s stop here and say hello to non-Americans: non-americans, how funny is it that Alaska really can turn the entire lower 48 over its knee any time it pleases? They did this to themselves. They invaded us with cameras and people and actors pretending to be cool Alaskans in front of those cameras…to try and hide from the entire lower 48 how much cooler than that we in fact are…and how much funnier than any of those drubs you see on TV could ever hope to be. Because of this cultural brainwashing…they never see the real thing coming when they meet real Alaskans or come here and see it in action. You should see them after like the first six months, when fhey come here—it’s like they’re struck from being surrounded by people who present in their reality like actual movie stars.
2 Bitcoin where Bitcoin is due.
Submitted July 17, 2022 at 12:13PM by golden_eyebrow https://ift.tt/OYQ0xBe
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