How am I not myself?

Someone asked Master Yunmen, “What is the original source?” ¹

The Master said, “Whose donations do you receive?”

Urs App's note:

¹ In Chan literature, this expression is often used for that which underlies and grounds all phenomena, i.e., the perceiving subject. See, for instance, the Record of Linji: "Virtuous monks, you must recognize the one who manipulates these reflections. He is the primal source of all the buddhas."

My comments

What subject underlies and grounds all phenomena? The question itself apparently assumes a separation between the perceiver and the phenomena perceived. So if I am a separated observer, whose phenomenal "donations" do I receive? Are there other separated subjects that I objectively donate to? What reality/alms keep the self/monastery running? Am I a willing observer? Am I a willful actor? Or am I a willful observer and a willing actor? Am I something other than my experiences? Am I really separate from others? Am I the phenomena? Are phenomena themselves noumena? Are noumena actually plural or is there just one Noumenon? How do I even know there is such a thing as noumenon without inferring it based on the experience of phenomena? How are noumenon and phenomena separated/related and how would I ever even know from my vantage point? Where are my boundaries: at the skin or beyond? Am I limited or part of the limitless? Where do I begin: at my birth, at my conception, branches back on the family tree, the big bang? Am I finite or part of the infinite? Am I truly independent? Am I dependent? How am I myself? How am I not myself?

Submitted August 17, 2020 at 01:39AM by jungle_toad https://ift.tt/2Q08kAq