How can I handle responsibility when nothing really matters to me?

I am not sure if I am right here, but I hoped that the philosphies from Zen Buddhism could help me out here.

Recently there are some situations in which I find myself caring a lot of responsibility and the people around me tell me that. However when I think about those situations I can't find a reason for me to feel responsible. It's just this feeling of passing by, like life moves on its own. So then I get stressed out, because people expect me to be someone I am not and I feel unsure about my believes and thoughts.

Therefore I came here in hope of some illumination. Maybe some of you understands my feelings and can help me out here. And if so a helpful strategy would be a lot of help.

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For me responsibility is something odd. You only can be responsible for something you can control right? Everything else is on its own. But when you think deeply, you realise control is just an illusion and every situation in life is like a river. We only can watch and be present. I mean it would be funny if someone told you, you would be responsible for the flow of the river right? That's in a way how I feel when people ask me to take responsibility.

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Thank you in advance! Namaste!

Submitted May 07, 2019 at 08:49PM by RabuDam http://bit.ly/2H6uLjy