Zen, in many ways, leads to breaking old patterns of thought, dismantling attachment, and conquering notions that are centered around objectivity and logic.
People on the Autistic spectrum like myself, conversely, tend to seek and see patterns, be rigid or dualistic in their way of thinking, as well as attaching themselves to prescribed behaviors, objects, and the like.
I find myself obsessing over things, especially within my ruminations-- even being consumed over things such aa studying Zen, which is partly why I had taken a hiatus from l both /r/Zen and studying from the masters as a whole. I figured that I should conquer my obsessive and rigid patterns of thought by getting away from what I was obsessing over, however, I only seem to have found new infatuations/things that occupied that space in mind instead.
Being on the autistic spectrum, I find it especially difficult to "become like a simpleton" in the way that Yuanwu-- the author of the Blue Cliff Record--prescribes in Zen Letters. I have been endowed with an ability to think critically and analyze concepts thoroughly. I recently took an IQ test as part of a psychiatric evaluation and it was decently high, and as a result I feel that in some ways I should use these abilities in ways that allow me to help others understand the world a bit better.
That being said, I still find it difficult to find common ground in many areas of my life. Zen doesn't rest upon a foundation of intellectualism. As such, I find that the study and practice of Zen seems to directly eschew what seems to be my greatest asset, as well as what I self-identify with the most.
Any advice would be appreciated. I look forward to posting more on this sub as well as getting back into studying the words of the masters and sharing my findings with you all. Thanks in advance.
Submitted January 11, 2019 at 08:34PM by planetbyter http://bit.ly/2Fosq38
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