I've had a regular zen meditation practice for 15 years. I had a teacher and sangha for the first three years and then left and had been sitting on my own until about 5 months ago when I started regular practice with a new sangha and new teacher. I do like the teacher but I have been struggling so much with sangha and formal practice. The koan study is going fine but doesn't feel in any way like it is the core of my practice. When I have thoughts of going back to practicing on my own, I feel a great sense of freedom and relief. I don't want to bend to every whim of the ego and wonder if I quit the formalities, if that, in fact, is what I will have done. In addition to the formal practice of four sittings a week, I sit on my own 2 hours each day and 4 hours on Sunday. My teacher has made it clear that he considers sangha and formal practice to pretty much be what its all about, so I don't feel its a matter about which I can seek his advice. Any opinions ? I do feel kind of strange seeking advice from anonymous strangers, but who knows (exactly !) ?
Submitted December 15, 2017 at 12:31AM by mintakax http://ift.tt/2o3zhrO
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