I began studying Zen as a form of self-improvement, as many of us do. I could definitely do better to set down my books and use the internet less and be more content with what I have. But that's my question. I think I'm equating enlightenment or "right study" with an idea of what it "should be".
In my mind, I'm creating this concept that I think leads myself to believe that Enlightenment or Zen would automatically give you the answers for all your problems. If I were having problems with my girlfriend, I would know what to do. I would just automatically be productive and motivated and happy - I wouldn't have to work for those things. I would be mindful at all times - never allowing delusion to arise, or even concepts. An unconscious idea of mind-pacification. Knowing what the "right" way to do things or the "right" way to feel in all situations.
But that's not what Zen or Enlightenment is, is it? That's just an idea that I've constructed - something I've made up that I think will be a panacea to all problems that I might ever encounter. But my doubt of this idea is building up - and I have even less of an idea than I did before, which seems to be a good thing.
With our study of Zen, we surely still do have to reflect, make decisions, motivate ourselves (not sure about this one, what is my "self"?), and feelings still exist. Surely Zen doesn't automatically solve lifelong patterns of habitual thinking - or make us automatically motivated to accomplish our goals. We still have to decide what is right for us. I know I am happier when I meditate, so I meditate. My thoughts are more clear when I write them down, so I write them down.
tl;dr: I am very, very confused.
Submitted July 31, 2016 at 09:09PM by tonyred513 http://ift.tt/2aCvIkB
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